萝莉社

Get Involved in Your Community and Help Prevent Sexual Violence

Bystander Intervention:

We want to promote a culture in 萝莉社 that supports a safe environment free from sexual assault. Every one of us plays a role in promoting a culture at 萝莉社 that supports an environment free from sexual violence and you can take specific actions to prevent an assault from taking place. Hence, it is important for you to notice your surroundings in order for you to intervene and prevent an assault. You can intervene on at least two levels.

Be an Advocate*

• Explore your own attitudes and beliefs about sexual assault. With increased individual awareness, you can promote cultural change through social consciousness.
• Educate yourself and others about interpersonal violence.
• Speak up against harmful and inappropriate racist, sexist, and homophobic jokes or remarks. Changing how one speaks about such issues is an important step towards culture change.
• Express disapproval when friends make excuses for other people鈥檚 abusive behavior.
• Participate in Student Success 鈥淣ot Anymore鈥� online training to learn more ways to intervene safely.

*Adapted from the University of Maine and Harvard University

Help Others with ISAS

Intervene

If you see a situation where someone may be experiencing sexual violence or may be at risk of it, seek ways to intervene. This may include intervening yourself or finding others who can help you intervene. Only intervene yourself if you feel safe to do so. If you don't feel safe intervening, seek out help to do so. When considering whether or not to intervene, develop a strategy before initiating,

Some strategies can be indirect which may be more comfortable for some people. These include:

• Cause a distraction such as changing the topic, introduce a new activity in the party
• Create an exit for the individual who is being sexually harassed. For example, ask them to go somewhere with you

Some strategies are more direct. For example,

• Ask the person being sexually harassed directly if they need help
• Ask the perpetrator to leave the other person alone
• Stay with the person 鈥� this reduces the likelihood of the perpetrator to do anything more
• Enlist the help and support of other people
• Refer to an authority (911, security personnel, or Housing staff or a Resident Assistant if you are in the residence halls)

Share Your Concern

If you're concerned for someone, share your concern with them in a non-judgmental way, then let them share. Seek to have a conversation about healthy relationships and boundaries.

Ask Directly

Ask directly about sexual or personal violence that may be occurring. These may be difficult topics to talk about, but asking about specifically what you are concerned about alleviates confusion. 

Help Them Receive Support and Continue Showing Support

Offer to help connect the person you're concerned for to resources, then continue to check back in. See below for resources or check out our resources page.

How to Help a Friend

Supporting survivors

Survivors are likely to talk to someone whom they can trust. When a survivor tells you about the assault, you may experience helplessness, anger, and other negative emotions and cognitions. You may want to help but do not know what to do or what to say. Remember that the survivor is never responsible for what happened. Below are some tips on how you can react to support a survivor.

• Believe them. Tell your friend that you believe them and that you will support in any way that is needed.
• Listen non-judgmentally. Let your friend talk. Listen to what s/he is saying and do not ask too many questions about the incident. Allow your friend to decide how much they are willing to share.
• Validate their feelings. Focus on your friend鈥檚 feelings and not on your feelings. Sympathize with your friend鈥檚 experience, stay calm, and offer them support.
• Assure them that it is not their fault. It is common for survivors to blame themselves for the assault. As their friend, help them understand that the assault was not their fault.
• Discuss options with them. Share with them the Title IX policy and this website. It is not your duty to have all the answers, but to support them in getting access to resources such as emotional and medical support.
• Allow them to make their own choices. Your role is to explore options with them, and offer advice and information, but do not decide what they should do. Let your friends decide what, when, and how they want to pursue the resources even if you do not agree with them. Sometimes they may change their mind. If so, respect their decisions and continue to offer them support and help.
• Offer company. Sometimes, survivors are hesitant to approach the resources. You can offer to accompany them to provide continued support in their decisions and actions.
• Respect their privacy and confidentiality. Your friend trust you enough to share with you. Hence, do not share your friend鈥檚 story with someone else unless you have their permission to do so. If you need to seek advice and support from a qualified individual, you can discuss options with a psychologist from Counseling and Psychological Services without sharing any identifying information of your friend.
• Get help and support yourself. Hearing what happened to your friend and providing the support can be difficult and emotionally draining. Please do not hesitate to seek psychological support for yourself at Counseling and Psychological Services if you are feeling overwhelmed.

Adapted from Colgate University

Additional notes for staff/faculty:

Let the student know that you are not a confidential resource. You are likely to be required to file a Title IX Incident Report as a Title IX Responsible Employee (RE) or file a Clery Crime Report. Do note that you are filing a report to the University and not a legal report. The University will respond from there and check with the student if s/he wants a legal report to be made.

Additional notes for parents:

Do not ask 鈥渨hy鈥�. Questions such as 鈥渨hy did you (do something)鈥︹�� and  鈥渨hy didn鈥檛 you (do something/tell us sooner)鈥︹�� may be perceived as blaming than being supportive. Such questions may close the communication between you and your child.

More About Sexual Violence

Sexual Violence Prevention Home

 

Support & Resources

Get support for yourself and learn what resources are available to you.

Crisis

Follow this link if you or a person you know have been a victim of sexual assault.